I often hear people argue about what “type” of mom has it the hardest. ‘Working moms’ who juggle work as well as family life, and who struggle with guilt because they are not always there for the ‘big moments’, or ‘stay at home moms’ who struggle with the never ending mountains of laundry, and not having an actual conversation that does not include the words “here comes the airplane” and “did you just poop yourself?”
I’ve been a mother for nearly six years now and I’ve been both – stay at home mom for the first few years with my eldest, and working mom since my twins were six months old, and although I am no authority and I cannot speak on behalf of all mothers around the world – as far as my own experience goes, I can honestly say that both “types” have their challenges as well as their rewards.
Let me tell you something – you see that mom opposite you RIGHT NOW at the bus stop/ coffee shop/ supermarket/ office/ yoga class/ restaurant? I bet you anything she is more like you than you can ever imagine. Sure, she may look like she’s got it all figured out, her kids might even be sitting down nicely reading a book while she sips her skinny latte without getting her perfect lipstick smeared, but I bet my life this woman has her ‘I LOSE MY SHIT’ moments just like you do.
I bet there are moments she wants to run away, moments she is tired and just wants to quit, moments she wishes her little angels would just piss off and moments she doubts whether or not she’s doing a good job.
Because the truth is – we are all just improvising.
It doesn’t matter how many parenting books you read before you became a parent, how many classes you took, how much advice you received – bottom line is that NOTHING can really prepare you for what being a parent is actually like. You may have even thought you would be one thing and then looked in the mirror five years down the line and wondered “who am I??” because the fact of the matter is that once you bring that baby home – EVERYTHING changes.
We all want to do the best job we can, and at times we think that the way we have chosen to do it is the best way ever, but perhaps it’s time to consider that it may just be the best way FOR US.
The reality is that there is no ONE WAY of being a mother. There is no RIGHT WAY, there are just choices and a whole bunch of women losing their shit other literally the exact same things. You might be wearing a power suit and rushing to work or you may be wearing yoga pants and have vomit in your hair, but when that kid of yours tells you that he can’t find his sock AGAIN, you are both going to want to scream “what on earth do you do with your socks ???!”.
So embrace mothers, all mothers, not just your “type” and reach out to those who are doing things a little different from you – who knows, you may even learn something from them.
*Dedicated to all the amazing moms out there who are kicking ass in high heels or flats, who the f*ck cares?! Love you ladies x