Yesterday my husband took the girls with him to do the food shop.
When he got home he told me that several people had said “well done” after seeing him walking around the supermarket with three children and a full shopping cart.
A week earlier he got praised for taking them out for lunch and a few months ago he received compliments for attending a school trip.
Now, don’t get me wrong – it is great that he does all of that, (especially the food shop since it was either that or we would have had a shoe for dinner), but at the same time I do wonder how many of the moms who were also at the supermarket shopping for their families with their kids, or on that school trip, or at that restaurant receive any praise at all?
I’m guessing… none?
And how many times have we pushed a full shopping cart with one hand while breastfeeding a baby and dragging an annoying toddler who is throwing a fit because we said “no” to an ice cream, while also on the phone to the vet trying to sort out an appointment for the dog who swallowed a stone (the f*cking idiot).
And did anyone come up to us and say “well done”?
And what about how we keep these crazy little monsters alive every day because you know, little people like jumping off stuff and shoving sharp objects up their noses.
Any praise for that?
And how about the million meals we have prepared or provided?
Can we get a “well done” for that?
And how about all the times we’ve changes the paper roll in the toilet cos apparently no one else on earth apart from moms is capable of doing it.
My point is, I am so sick of the idea that the men in our lives, the fathers of our children, the adults that we chose to spend the rest of our lives with, are looked at by society as babysitters or “help”, or freakin’ heroes for simply being our PARTNERS.
Let me tell you something, my husband does not “help” me with our kids. He does not do me a “favor” by taking them out for an hour to do the food shop because the fridge is empty and I have to work.
He lives in this house, he wants to have food to eat, and he is perfectly capable of spending time with his own children.
He is an amazing father, and as a man who is happy to buy me tampons and even use coupons to get a discount on them, he is a total keeper and most days I adore him (seriously though, change the goddam paper roll!), but let’s face it – he did not solve world hunger or find the cure for cancer.
He just did the food shop!
PS – he forgot the milk.