A few months ago I had my first mammogram. I was at home when my phone rang, the lady from the clinic was reading the results out, I was trying to serve dinner, the kids were screaming, the dog was eating my daughter’s shoe and she said “they saw something on your left breast”.
Everything stopped and a million thoughts rushed throw my head – ‘I am going to die. My kids are going to grow up without a mother. I am going to miss everything and how the hell is my hubby ever going to cope, he doesn’t even know how to tie their hair up!’
But then there was one thought that came to my head which really surprised me, and that was – I HAVE TO BOOK A BUNGEE JUMP.
Rewind a little and let me tell you something – I am going through a mid life crisis.
After nearly seven years of being buried under piles of laundry, covered in baby vomit, married to my yoga pants and hiding in the pantry eating my kids snacks, I feel like I am coming out on the other side, only I have no idea who I am any more.
I look in the mirror and I wonder – who am I apart from being “mom” and I honestly don’t know.
I have had days that I’ve wanted to run away, leave it all behind me and just go, days I have wanted to bang my head against the wall cos I am so bored with mom life and thoughts about roasted potatoes or the school bake sale, but I get on with it like millions of women do because I love my children and I love being a mom… most of the time.
Back to the mammogram, went back in, got another one done, results were good, life goes on, only now there was a decision which was – I want to live MY LIFE.
So, I made a list of all the things I have always wanted to do but never did, or things I used to do and have stopped because I’m a mom and it’s not what moms do etc, and I set out on this journey to rediscover who I am.
At the top of the list there was of course a BUNGEE JUMP.
I am telling you now, standing up there, looking down and having to jump was one of the scariest moments of my life. I thought I would be thinking of my kids but honestly I had to shut my brain off to be able to do it. There was a moment I thought ‘I can’t do this’ but when the operator said “you can, remember, you can” I knew I was going to do it.
I jumped FOR ME and it was the most amazing feeling ever.
After the rush wore off I knew that it was just a start, a beginning to a journey which will take time but I am so excited to see where it takes me and I hope you can all join me in having an epic, funny, crazy MOM LIFE CRISIS adventure together! #momlifecrisis
For daily updates go to www.instagram.com/tova_leigh