I’ve had a few conversations with ‘Millennials’ about sexuality recently. According to a lot of them “my generation” (i.e. people who were in the 20’s in the 1990’s) are sexually repressed and over dramatic whilst their generation have the whole sex thing all sorted out.  

Okay, let me start again – we were having a discussion which got me passionate, whilst they “chilled”, or did something else I’m not sure how to say, but basically means that it didn’t effect them, cos what’s the point in getting passionate about anything, just “chill” emoji, emoji and add lot’s of “hahahahaha” at the end of everything you say so that nothing you say is accidentally taken seriously because nothing in life is serious, or something like that… 

Boy, it must be exhausting being a 20 year old in 2018. All that energy wasted on not actually saying anything that means anything about anything because nothing means anything so why even bother. 

No wonder today’s 20 year old are too tired to have sex…

You see, this sort of ‘aloof’ attitude seems to have seeped into other aspects of today’s 20 year olds lives, so much that the fact that they, on average, are having less sex compared to young adults in the late 1990s is hardly surprising. I mean, to have a sexual relationship (or any relationship for that matter), takes a lot of work, you actually need to talk to people (in real life, no via WhatsApp) and show your emotions (with words, not GIFS), and touch them (like their actual bodies), which let’s face it, in the decade of technology and ‘chilling’, is not as easy as you may think. 

Research shows that as a group today’s 20 year olds take fewer risks – they drink less, drive less, and they also f*ck less, basically missing out on everything fun about being in your 20’s… 

They look down at previous generation who did LSD and snorted coke, and they prize themselves for being a drug free (ish) generation, yet it has been proven that receiving “likes” and “comments” on social media can give users the same feel-good effects as snorting coke or other dopamine-releasing drugs, only without the mind altering fun bit…

Yep, whilst previous generations got high on weed, shagged everyone and sang about making love, today’s young adults get high from staring at a screen and counting “likes”.

Do you see where I am going with this?

And the thing is, they don’t don’t even realize it.

Many of young people still live at home with their parents because life is expensive, they don’t have time or money to date and they watch a respectful amount if porn so they are used to having virtual sex rather than the real thing, not to mention the fact that sagging on mommy and daddy’s couch is hardly appealing to anybody.

I know that each generation is better than the previous one and that young people today are in many ways so much smarter than we ever were. But I also know that when it comes to emotions, sex and relationships, they struggle. 

I think that one of the reason so many young people today are staying single for longer is not because they are a ‘pickier’ generation but rather because their avoiding attitude has made them awkward and come across as cold. 

And the saddest thing is that – they are missing out.

Not on the drugs and orgies (which by the way were lots of fun), but on the interaction with other people. Those moments you can’t plan that happen when you just ‘live’ without fear of getting hurt or trying something new. When you have a human connection with someone, not through a screen but in real life, and in the bloody sack where we spent most of our time in our 20’s.

Those are the moments that change you forever and add layers to who you are and what life story you will have to tell many many years from now.

You can’t get that from Instagram.