As a woman in her 40s I am personally tired of the common notion that women over a ‘certain age’ aught to shrivel up somewhere and disappear into the shadows. Not sure how or when it happened that our society became all about being young and having smooth skin and perky boobs, whereas me and my saggy double Ds, that used to turn heads back in day and now need to be collected off the ground every time I leave the room if I’m not wearing a bra, are just – ‘irrelevant’.
What’s weird is that I feel more relevant than ever.
Don’t get me wrong, I remember vividly being 25. Being able to go all night, clubbing till the early hours of morning, shagging, drinking and not having to stop. I also remember the time before wrinkles and how shiny my hair was, not to mention the fact that I had no stretch marks or that dark shadow bit above my upper lip that looks like a moustache but is actually another magical gift ‘hormones’ gave me whilst I was pregnant. Oh, and lets not forget the grey hair… Yeah, there have been a few, and not just on my head!
But if I look back at that time and compare it to now, in my 40s slowly approaching my mid 40s and soon after my…. breathe…. my 50s, I gotta tell you – I feel better than I ever did and I most certainly am not ready to fade away, anywhere, any time soon.
The reason this has been on my mind recently is because I came across something 50 year old French author and television presenter Yann Moix said during an interview he gave Marie-Claire magazine. He said, and I suggest you sit down for this because it’s kinda annoying, that he would be “incapable” of loving a woman aged over 50, and that women in their 50s were simply “invisible” to him. The author explained that he prefers “younger women’s bodies” and added that “he body of a 25-year-old woman is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not extraordinary at all”.
Well, well, well…
Whist I totally agree that a body of a twenty five year old (man or woman) can indeed be “extraordinary”, I mean who doesn’t like bouncing coins off someones’ tight ass? (just kidding), I find it sad that Moix (and many other men who think like him), is incapable to loving someone for who they are, rather than what they look like. Now don’t get me wrong – of course looks are important, we need to be attracted to who we are with, but if the 25-year-old women who find him, and other men in their 50s attractive, I’m guessing it’s not because of their saggy balls, but rather their personalities. Sorry, I realise that was a cheap shot but since men (and everyone for that matter), feel it’s totally okay to discuss women’s lose vaginas and other body parts that change as a result of that natural process called AGEING, I feel it’s only fair to mention the changes men’s bodies go through too. And yes, saggy balls is a thing.
Now I realise I could approach this from many directions, the obvious is to state how vibrate, not to mention sexually charged, women in their 50s are compared to women in their 20s (it’s a known fact, Google it). I could also state the many reasons why 50 year old women’s bodies ARE extraordinary, from how strong they are, how they provide life and hold their loved ones and everything they endure. And I could carry on listing the many reasons why no women of the planet would ever want anything to do with a man who finds her “invisible” but that would be stating the obvious. Instead, I have decided not to do all of that because for one, it’s should never be a competition between women – we are fabulous. Secondly, people like Moix simply don’t see that all stages of life are beautiful in their own way and it doesn’t matter what I say, nothing will change that.
What I will say is that as a society we really should aim to do better – the obsession with youth is pathetic, time consuming and unproductive.
Our bodies are but vessels that takes us through this journey called life. They are not what define us, they are not here forever and will all one day shrivel up like old prunes. It’s time to start talking about something far more exciting than our bodies, like who we are as people, and how we FEEL on the inside. And maybe when we do that, we will finally realise that what truly makes us ‘timeless’ has nothing to do with what we look like or our age.
Do you know what it is?