Author: tovaleigh

I can’t see a white light but I know I am about to die

It’s Friday night. I am lying in a hospital bed in the intensive care unit after giving birth to my twins, at 35 weeks and three days. My blood pressure is 240 over 120 and my whole body is shaking. I have lost control of my muscles and I can’t speak when the doctor asks me if I can hear him. Three other doctors rush into the room and stick a second IV in my other arm. I am now being pumped with drugs in a desperate attempt to reduce my blood pressure which is out of control. I...

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The kids go back to school today! woo hoo!

I Woke up this morning with a spring in my step not knowing exactly why. My husband is singing in the shower, singing! I ask him what’s up and he shouts back (almost screams in fact): “The kids go back to school today, woo hoo!”. After nearly three weeks off school (and nursery), me and my husband, or better known by our three kids as ‘the entertaining team’, are delighted to go back to work and finally relax! It’s been a full on three weeks packed with theme parks, seeing Santa at the zoo, seeing Santa at the shopping...

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Hangover hurts when you have kids!

Remember the days you could go out, get totally wasted and somehow drag yourself back home and into bed, (not before stuffing your face with basically whatever you can get your hands on with the excuse that it’s “soaking up the alcohol”?). Well those days are gone the moment you have children and I can tell you for a fact that, hangover is a bitch when you have kids! It’s New Year’s Eve. My husband and I decide to host a small party in our house for some friends. Most of the guests are in their 40’s so I’m...

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Time to clean up my act!

I find it hard not to swear around my kids. I’m not saying I go around swearing like a sailor but I’m the first to admit that from time to time I do slip. And so when that moment came, when my four and a half year old said (with great intention might I add), “shit” I started thinking maybe it was time to ‘clean up my act’… It’s a family holiday at Center Parcs, and there are plenty of well behaved kids all around. We are getting ready to go swimming when my eldest drops the pound coin...

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I love my kids, but sometimes I just wish they would f*ck off!

I am trying to have a poo in private. The last 24 hours have been a combination of too much wine, too much food and three screaming children running around the house high on adrenaline from all the excitement. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been lovely. There is nothing in the world I love more than my three kids, but every now and then I just wish they would buzz off! Still on the toilet and my youngest is nearly banging the door down. “Mummy is on the loo and I need some privacy”. I can almost imagine the...

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Go the Fuck To Sleep is the perfect gift for new moms! not to be read to children obviously but will give you a good giggle when YOU read it with a glass of wine in your hand.


Good Night Stories For Rebel Girls

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