It happened last Saturday night, I was "out on the town". Kids free night, adult conversation and lots... And LOTS of alcohol. There's been road works happening on the main road which leads to our housing cul de sac. So I didn't get dropped off at my door and I staggered out of the taxi and headed home.

We recently moved house to a beautiful new development and all the houses are shiny and new and pretty much identical. So, I found my door, struggling to find my keys and then the almighty task of putting them into the door was happening. I could not get my keys to turn! Was not happening. Well, I could barely walk so of course I wouldn't be able to open my front door. So, I prayed my husband left the door open and I reached for the handle. Thank god, it was unlocked! Place was in darkness,

There I climb up the stairs, take off my shoes and my t-shirt and just climbed into bed. There, lying in the bed was my husband, so I went to give him a cuddle goodnight and I noticed how he must have lost some weight and been doing some working out. How did I not notice?? Well.... I got wakened by a bright light to my right hand side. There he was, lying next to me. MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR!!! Turns out I didn't notice I went into the Wrong coloured door and somehow did not recognise my own bed!!! I climbed into my neighbours bed!!! I was in shock, thankfully he just laughed and helped me go next door and used my keys to unlock my door. I am considering the possibility, I may need to move house again 😂

Submitted by whenitstime13

So embarrassing. Oke here it is. So this one day in feb 2009. We went to a steakhouse for we thought was my sisters birthday. But no they announced their engagement. We had a lovely time. Stuffed our faces and we’re about to leave. So I was driving home with my parents (lived at home at that moment) and I told them I had to go and use the bathroom first. Did that and we started driving home. All of a sudden. I think we were at 1/3 home. My stomach felt a bit upset. So I asked my father to stop at a gas station so I could do a number 2. Nothing open (22.50) so I started crying and asked him to run a red light so I could go at macdonalds. We arrived close to 23.00 and they turned the locks on the door. They saw me running. I explained that I really really really had to use the bathroom with tears in my eyes. And that girl laughed and said no. So I went back to the car. My dad said hop on. I’ve got an idea. He went to the back of the restaurant. And said to me. Dump your shit behind this Container. Guess what. Hmhmmm I took the most enormous shit. At the backfiring of macdonalds. Wiped my ass with dads handkerchief and laughed. The first one out would step in my shit. 😂. Never ever felt guilty. I do feel a bit ashamed. But he. It’s 10 years ago. Still proud of the pile 💩

Submitted by peetiej

OK Tova I'm ready to fess up! Sometimes when i go toilet, if i think it's going to be a really big poo, i weigh myself before & after, just for fun experiments!!! Lol! Am i the only one who does this??? It's so juvenile, but i just find it funny 🤣🤣🤣 love you btw xx Averil in New Zealand

Submitted by Averil

So I am a Vermont girl who lives with her husband and 6 children three years ago my husband moved us all (at the time just us and 4 kids) well after several months of living there I met this guy had a brief affair and fell pregnant.....which is crazy because my husband had a vasectomy after our fourth child anyway I hid the pregnancy for months he saw a message on my phone and was furious by then the affair was over as I ended it it slowly forgave me we lived back to Vermont where I had my first ultrasound showing I was having twins crazy right let me add this was my very first time being unfaithful it's not who I am my husband and I have a rocky past where he was a drunk and unfaithful ALOT now we are in an amazing place though couldn't be happier so back to the twins I should add both my husband and I are white and the other guy is African American so time to have the babies both boys well I now have a Brown 17 month old boy and and very white 17 month old boy the odds are slim but I may have gotten pregnant by both my husband and the man I had the affair with.

Submitted by Victoria

So I got engaged in the Dominican Republic. I “accidentally” found my engagement ring in my husbands suitcase when I was looking for my books and he was taking his usual 30 minute dump. I had a quick look and put it back. Three days later he still hasn’t asked me so I was on the beach and said I needed to go back up to the room to get another book (I did) and I tried it on and put it back. He still has no idea. We also smoked a cigar when he finally asked me and I didn’t inhale but man did it on agree with me. So right after he asked me to marry him I walked into a patio window and threw up 6 times.

Submitted by jadper_and_Jeanette

When my little girl was a new born, I was sat on sofa cuddling her in whilst being on the laptop. I needed a drink so placed my baby on sofa and laptop on floor cane back from the kitchen and realised I'd put baby on floor and laptop on sofa hahaha!😂

Submitted by Alice

Before I met my husband, my cousin tried to fix me with guy. 5 minutes into our date I realized I'm wasting my time and just wanted to get this over with. Fast forward to 5 years later. A friend of my husband is throwing a party to all of his and his wife's friends....as we walk in I spot this failing date guy, and feeling so embarrassed as my husband's friend introduces us to him and his wife.....

I basically changed colors there and just wanted to disappear, not saying a word to my husband of course......but as we drove back home, while processing the whole situation, I started laughing at the whole thing....my husband was asking me what was so funny.....so I told him the truth saying -'babe don't feel bad about this but remember X from the party? I dated him once....'

then he started laughing so loudly without me knowing what's going on....so I said -'what the hell is so funny? And then he said -'.don't take this the wrong way but I dated his wife once...'

Submitted by mirihil

I let my son hide in the shelves in Aldi/ any supermarket & tell him I’m leaving him!

Submitted by Kerryann

I saw your story today about the underwear that smooths your stomach that you wear every day and that it's so ripped at the bottom your vagina frappes out and I wanna say that is EXACTLY me! I have a pair of underwear I LOVE, also a bra that's my fav and I wear them all the time, there are so many holes in them it's not even funny but I can't find anything I like as much. So anyway, this really anodes my husband that says I look homeless, one time he got so angry he ripped the bottom of the knickers so that I wouldn't wear them. Did it stop me? Hell no! Didn't learn how to saw for nothing! I'm wearing them now btw... ha!

Anonymous submission

I decided to meet up with this guy who had been constantly messaging me, and he wanted to take me out for "taco Tuesday" at this restaurant by our house. He spent the ENTIRE date basically telling me how vaginas were actually pretty gross.. mind you he was eating a taco while he was telling me this.

It was when I was 15 and my first time, and we did it in my parents bed. Anyway, didn't think about her being a virgin too and long story short, when we finished I realised the sheets were all covered in blood... my mom's favourite sheets. I panicked and didn't know what to do, so I shoved them in a garbage bag and throw them all away. My mom came home and asked what happened to her sheets. Again, I panicked and just came out with 'I was eating sardine and I tried and they fell over the bed so I got rid of the sheets'. I have no idea how but she believed me.

Anonymous submission

Quite possibly the worst date i went on was when a guy took me to a theme park. I i hated the thought of even going on rides or waiting in the heat (we were in Spain).  He then wanted to take me to lunch, but I started feeling sick so i decided to go to the loo and what happens?? my knickers snap .. lets just say it was a breezy lunch.

Anonymous submission

Is it normal to want to run away? I am sure you've spoken about this before but bis do I sometimes wish I won the lottery and I could fuck off somewhere warm where I could drink mojitos all day long. Exhausted mom of three.

Anonymous submission

One time as I was out with my boss, I drank way too much and as we were walking to the the train station, I vomited all over the payment. she then trued to jeep to get up because I had failed over Ito my vomit, but I started shouting at her in the middle of the street. Best night ever. Oh, I am a man.

Anonymous submission

Mom of two. loved your stories about sex toys and your reply to the guy who said you like penines... My confession is about my love for sex toys and yes I used to feel ashamed because I am a mother and supposed to be pure and holly right? wrong. What started as a little rocket pocket vibrator I got as a joke gift has become a real passion. I now have an impressive collection which no longer fits into one drawer and so recently I bought a dresser for my toys. Yes, a tall, four large drawers that are all filled with sex toys just for me (and my partner sometimes when he's in the mood). Am I ashamed or embarrassed to admit this? not one bit!

Submitted by Alex

Confession: while hiding, behind the curtains on stage, from our head mistress I had to really poop and it couldn’t wait. I pooped on the floor and used the curtains to wipe. We never heard anything about it.

Submitted by Andrea

I have a 4 year old, she wakes up at night and comes to our bed and I pretend to be asleep so my husband has to deal with her.

Submitted by Tryn

When I found out my husband had been cheating on me I didn't tell anyone it wasn't the first time and I felt like all my friends where sick of giving me the same advice. so I quickly realised that I hadn't noticed the make attention I received and I started to embrace it. I embraced it to the point where I found myself fucking one of my employees on my desk in my office after hours. I drove home to my husband that night without an ounce of guilt that's when I knew it was over. we have been separated over a year and are genuinely the best of friends, we even had lunch today and talked about his new flat and his new love interest. strange how things work out and no he still doesn't know 🤫

Anonymous submission

Hows this to make you feel better...... I live on a small compact street. My bathroom window looks out on to the street. My husband decided to open the window very wide..... upon returning home from school run I found all my tampax and always pads hanging out the window in clear view of all the neighbour's to see. Mortified! Hubby found this very funny while I was stood staring at pretty much a whole 'womens isle' worth of items on the neighbours drive ways and street. Ground swallow me whole!!!!!

Submission by Gemma

Let me start out by staying that I'm a happily married woman with a 2 year old daughter and I've been with my husband for almost 9 years.

Well it all started last summer. There is this guy who lives 2 houses away from me and he is hot. I dont know his name so I'll refer to him as Johnny Angel.

So, anyway in the summer I like to hang out on my front porch with my daughter and just let her play on the porch. Well Johnny Angel always walks by my house with his dog and he's usually shirtless in the summer and 8m just like flabbergasted. He literally is the human form.of Adonis . When he sees me he always smiles, waves, or just says hi he's never spoken a word to me directly . Then one day I got my nerve up to write him a letter signed by his secret admirer. Know the letter wasn't bad at just simply stating that i thought he was cute. So, I put the letter in his mailbox and asked him to text me not to call me because my husband would flip his lid . And then one day it happened he actually texted me back. The message I received from him was just like 2 friends talking. I don't remember exactly what the message said because I deleted it immediately after I received it. But then again I saw him the other day as I was getting out of my car and it all came back to me like a ton if bricks .Hopefully I'll at least find out his name this summer .

Me and my partner just started seeing each other, I was at a festival and he just got to ibiza I saw a picture posted of some girls that were in their apartment that they knew, I was suspicious so the next day me and my friend booked a plane ticket and went there, I said it was my uncles birthday and to be fair he did live there. I told him this, he said why didn’t you tell me, me being the best girlfriend ever said I didn't want to spoil your holiday orAnd just enjoy your time with the lads, so I saw him on holiday, coast was clear and we went about our separate holidays. HE STILL DOES NOT KNOW to this day. 5 years in and a child.

Anonymous submission