Cabaret Party (Not What You Think)

*image from the movie Eyes Wide Shut*

Killing Kittens invited me to attend one of their parties last night. If you've never heard of them, then sit back and listen, it's probably not what you're expecting, but I'm pretty sure you'll find it interesting.

Killing Kittens was founded in 2005 by Emma Sayle. She basically wanted to create a place for women to explore their sexuality, a place where women are in charge and where a woman being a predator and in control of her own sexual pleasure, happily shagging as many men she wants, does not make her a slut or a whore. In short, she started organising sex parties for women. With time this original idea grew beyond massive orgies and developed into an online community of over 140,000 women, men and couples, chatting, flirting and socialising all over the world.

Today Killing Kittens is a global brand that organises not only parties but also workshops, weekend retreats and social events all year round in many major cities across the globe.

You could say Emma was ahead of her time. Way a head if you ask me. I don't think that back in 2005 anyone could have predicted the whole #metoo movement and its impact. Today women's sexual welding has become one of the hottest trends of 2019. It's like someone woke up one morning and said 'hey, those women creators, they're not just objects to be sexualised, they actually have their own needs? Wow, who knew?" Emma saw it coming.

Now back to the party.

They invited me to their Cabaret party which according to Killing Kittens is a 'beginners party'. Please note that if you want to go total hardcore they have other things to offer, like the Hedonism Party which you should probably not wear any makeup to or bother with doing your hair because the nature of it is that you will be sweaty, slippery and covered in all sorts of fluids. Yeah, so I passed on that one and stuck to the 'beginners party'. Wore a nice cocktail dress, high heels, my Spanx, and took a friend with me.

It's weird knowing you are going to, at some point, be surrounded by naked people having sex as you eat your fish cakes and discuss how spicy the chilly dressing is. I kept looking at people having their dinner and I couldn't help wonder if they would even have energy to have sex after the delicious three course meal we were having.

They did.

Basically the cabaret party is exactly that - a three course meal, followed by an amazing show, followed by an orgy. If you want.

Very civilised.

To be honest you could take your grandma and she's have a lovely time. If you wanted to avoid contact with any penises you wouldn't struggle because the 'love making' takes place in what are referred to as 'play areas' and they are out of sight behind closed doors and curtains.

I did of course make my way to the play areas to have a good old look. First when the evening started and everyone still had their masks (and clothes) on. To be honest, the beginning of the night was my favourite. The music along with the lighting and the fact that everyone was dressed to kill and had Venetian masks covering their eyes, reminded me of the movie 'Eyes Wide Shut' and there was a very sensual atmosphere in the room which was really fun. The play rooms, at that point, were still empty and the set up was pretty straightforward: beds, sofas, bowl of condoms and a box of tissues on every table. Nice touch.

The second time I went in was after the show had ended. The rooms were filled with people shagging. Personally, it felt uncomfortable just standing there and watching people have sex without taking part so I didn't stay for long, but I did notice that the tissues came in handy.

Did I find it appealing? no. But many people seem to really enjoy themselves. For me personally, once the show ended something in the atmosphere changed which was a shame. The sensuality, which I personally feel is a big part of having a sexual connection with someone, was gone and it was more 'down to business' in a very matter a fact kinda way. A bit like how I would feel before going to the gym, if I ever went to the gym.

What I did like though was seeing a variety of ages and body types. Don't ask me why but I was sure I would only see drop dead gorgeous people with killer bods that could make someone a bit more average feel uncomfortable, but that wasn't the case. I would also say there was a good age range from people in their 20's to people in their 60's (good for them) and a good ratio between men and women too.

By the way this is a good place to mention that the whole idea of Killing Kittens is that women are in charge, so if you are a man you can't attend a party unless you are invited by a woman. Women on the other hand, can attend alone. Men are also not allowed to approach women and have to wait to be approached. This to me is probably the best rule Killing Kittens have because frankly, after generations of being labelled the "passive" sex, it's rather refreshing having someone say 'go get em girl'.

The show was another highlights for me. There was fire, acrobats and stunning outfits, everything you'd expect from true cabaret, BUT, and this is a massive but - all the performers were women. I felt a little let down by that, I mean they are a company that caters for females, and as a woman - I would have liked to see half naked good looking men prance around that stage. I told them that.

Overall it was a fun night out. I actually don't feel like it was a big deal at all and I can definitely tick 'attend an orgy' off my bucket list. You can attend a party and not see one naked person if you don't want to. It did not feel sleazy and if anything, it was a good laugh and not as taboo as you'd think it is. Most of the people there were everyday folk - bankers, sales and marketing people, and some middle aged couple from the suburbs who are sick of going to the cinema.

From my conversation with Killing Kittens I learnt that people attend these parties for various reasons and I even got to chat to one married couple who said it was their first party and felt nervous and didn't know what they were supposed to do. It's actually funny having to explain to someone how an orgy works. I mean, do you just jump in? do you make small talk first?

Just before we left we saw them in the play room. I think it's safe to say they managed to figure it out. My friend went over to say goodbye and I hid behind a wall. She snogged the lady and then told me she did it because she wanted to let her know she was doing okay. I laughed. I mean, she was riding her husband like a cowgirl, I'm pretty sure she knew she was doing alright.