Melissa Lives Under The Bed!

My husband and I got married late in life (in hour late 30s). When we got married he was still a virgin. Yes clearly he was saving himself for me 🤣. Anyway... apparently before he got married he decided to buy himself one of those masturbator half doll type things, It’s basically the torso of a woman’s body. I remember having a conversation about sex with him before we got married and he very shyly told me about his little friend who I named Melissa.
When we moved in together he brought Melissa with him and now Melissa lives basically under the bed. Do I care she’s under the bed..?no I bloody don’t!

Submitted by Annonymouse

Revenge Cheating

I was dating my ex boyfriend for 7 years and found out that he had been cheating on me for 5 of those 7 years and so I decided that I would get back at him by doing the same thing. I cheated on him with a guy from my school. At first I felt really good but then I started to feel guilty. Needless to say I have moved on and found someone way better who I don't cheat on!

Submitted by Josey

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Candy Ass

When I was about 14 I found out my cousin was stealing my sweets everytime he came round so one day I was so pi***d off I took a strawberry lace and but it between my bum cheeks and pulled it up throw my bum cheeks and said to him would u like the last one he ate it all up and I never confessed to anyone about it lol 🤢😟

Submitted by Lisamarie

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An Odor And Discharge

First off love you soo much :) This actually happened to me recently..omg cant believe im confessing this. I recently became a mother again to a little girl. Between everything that is going on i accidentally left a tampon in. I started to get an odor and discharge..for christ sakes i even douched. It never occurred to me to be like hey didnt you forget something. How i eventually got it out. Well i left the need to push something and there it was upside down lmao

Submitted by Anonymous

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A Bus Ride To Remember

My daughter was born 10 weeks premature and i was so used to going backwards and forwards to the hospital in my own on the bus that the first time i took my daughter on the bus in a very sleep deprived mess i got off the bus without my daughter realized just as the bus doors were closing the bus then reopened the doors i collected my daughter i was mortified

Submitted by Debbie

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My Husband Snores So Loud

So my husband snores alot and always so loud! So, I have to Confess when he is snoring and in a deep sleep, I dutch oven him and the smell makes him stop!! LOL He knows nothing. It's not every night. Just the nights when I cant sleep because of him.
So, yeah that's my confession. We have been married for 14 years I've earned a good laugh!

Submitted by Momma G

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I"m NOT Pregnant

Everytime I go back home there are rumours that I might be pregnant. I am not. I’m just not as fit as I was in my teens.

Obviously angry with this often REPEATED occurrence, this Summer I decided I’d say Yes to whomever asked.

What happened you ask? Well, now I’ve got a bunch of second hand baby clothes that I have no use for at the moment, but the best thing was to see the faces of people who saw me drink and smoke at the town festival. The looks of judgement. This time I owned it!

Submitted by Annonymous

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Libido Through The Roof!

I’m a 37 year old work at home mom. Lately l have noticed my libido has gone through the roof! I have find myself wanting to have sex ALL THE FREAKIN TIME! I would masturbate more, but having a kiddo (who’s 4 with some special needs) I find it near impossible! So now I am a walking frustration! And my hubby just sees it at as extra fun....🤦🏻‍♀️ Tell me I’m not on my own for this one? Any suggestions to find more ME time?

Submitted by Anonymous

Shity Ass Hairdressers

Hello ladies! Okay so it all started when my friend gave me a coupon to go to this fancy salon and get my hair done and I thought oh my gosh this is amazing I'm working two full-time jobs I never have time for this and this will be so much fun!! So the day came and I scheduled an appointment and I got all dressed up because I wanted to look cute because every time you go to the hairdressers everybody's cute and smells pretty looks pretty so I put these cute little pants on they were little bit looser and a white top and white socks and black shoes I got in my little mustang and I drove all the way over there and I couldn't find parking so I was looking everywhere and it turned out I had to walk a little ways to the salon while I was walking I felt like I had to poop and I was like oh I'll be fine I don't have to poop that bad so I kept walking and walking then I started clenching my butt cheeks and I was thinking oh shit I'm really going to poop I'm going to poop all the sudden all the shit just came out and ran all the way down my leg into my shoes on 802to my white socks and I was horrified I had no idea what I was going to do and I only had this one coupon and I couldn't rebook so I just kept walking! I got to the salon and I said can I use your bathroom so I went into the bathroom and they had all these beautiful white fancy hand towels and I literally took all the hand towels and washed myself! All these cute girls kept coming in the bathroom I'm sure they smelled shit everywhere I couldn't believe this was actually happening to me and then I had no idea what to do with all the shity white hand towels, so I just shove them all into the period container plus my panties!! So I finally got out of the bathroom with wet shit stained pants and no underwear still smelling like shit and I sat down in this girl's chair and she walks up and she says something smells kind of weird over here I don't know what that is and I just sat there in horror!!! I thought this is the most miserable day of my life and I can't believe this is happening to me of all days I just wanted a day to celebrate myself instead I shit myself and now I'm sitting in a chair with a shity ass and this blonde is cutting my hair!!! That was the longest haircut I've ever had in my life?! Haha this was 5 years ago I'm 27 now!! I will never forget this! 😂😂

Submitted by Victory

A Little Tied Up

When me and my partner were around 17, we were getting let's say frisky and I said he could tie me up and do whatever he he tied me up and left me lying on the bed while he went out on his motorbike. Mortified was not the word when his mum walked in and had to untie me. Let's just say that was the first and last time I let him tie me up 🤦‍♀️😂

Submitted by Dea

Revenge Sex

My ex-husband left me for another woman. She had the audacity to tell me she knew he was married and didn’t care. I slept with him even though I had no intention of wanting to get back with him. And I didn’t care.

Submitted by Lorena

Screwed Them Like There Was No Tomorrow

My hubby and i have been together 25 yrs and married 17 yrs we have a open marriage hmmmmmm i always usually ask to have sex with another guy if he says ok then i do same for him anyways my hubby went out of state and i had 2 guys come over 1 each day and we screwed like there was no tomorrow he dosen’t know about them oooops shhhhhh

Submitted by: Crazy Lady

The Office Farter

I fart when at work when I’m in my office 😄 it comes so fast sometimess that I don’t have the time to run to the bathroom, so be it fart fart and fart away 😂 because holding it in isn’t an option!

Submitted by Mari

A Special Coffee

Ok here goes don't hate me people but 4years ago we had a new general manager start at work . He seemed like a decent man but very quickly it became evident that he is a tosser of the highest degree. So to cut a long story short my confession is that for 3 of the years that he had been working with us everyday he has a morning coffee in fact demands he gets one . So I make them and have spit in every single one he has . Now I'm not proud of it ok well made a little bit haha but I will admit to watching him drink it makes me warm and fuzzy inside don't hate people I can't help myself much love Tova I love you keep up the great work xx

Submitted by Ruby

'Someone' Damaged The Car

Ok, so I had just got a brand new car home and the next morning I was driving it out our gate. The bins were out for collection, and as I turned to go on to the road, I somehow managed to misjudge the width of the car and as I turned I kind of took the bin with me and the handle of the bin left a big long dent along the passenger side door. I nearly puked! Sooooo I phoned my husband and told him that I had just noticed a big dent in the side of the car and it must have happened in the car garage before I had taken it home and I just hadn’t noticed. He phoned the car garage and was really cross with them about sending a car out with a big dent on it and went on about how careless they were because someone had obviously damaged the car on their yard. They were so apologetic and fixed it without any problem. That was ten years ago, and my husband still doesn’t know what actually happened to the car. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Submitted by Mary

Doggy Style

Confession: Okay, so bit of a long one, but stay with me!

I used to work in a hotel as a house keeper. The hotel was fairly nice and we used to get a lot of older people staying in the hotel.

One day, I was changing the bedding in someone’s room when I noticed they had some dog accessories. Bowl, collar, lead..

I informed my manager - as we had a no pet policy.. She went to speak to the lady in question.

When she knocked on the door the lady answered, and she started to explain to her that obviously we didn’t allow pets. The lady started going bright red, and had to admit to my manager that the accessories weren’t actually for a dog, but for her husband!!! She told me, and I wanted the world to swallow both of us up!!

Submitted by Doggy Style

A Very Special Fishing Trip

Back in my early 20's I was a mate on a fishing boat. Very unheard of at the time to have a girl net, filet, hook bait, tie lines, set an anchor, engine watch, take out tangles. And all of the other wonderful jobs you do on a fishing boat. Our cook didnt show up that morning. So needless to say "galley was closed". Fair warning to all customers to go buy something before we were to leave the harbor. Now mind you it's about a 4 hour trip. We were doing a few of these a day. About 30 minutes into the trip I was asked if I could make a burger for this man. Wonder why I was asked when we had 2 other "male" mates working with me. (Let you in on a little secret, I was also owner of the boat and operation) So, I wash the squid ink off my hands. I was in the middle of dicing up a big ass squid for bait. Now that smell and stain from the ink does not come off very easily! Once again I wonder why he asked me?? The other 2 mates weren't cutting up bait!! SO I proceed to fix him his burger. After a few minutes he brings me back a half eaten burger and told me it was not done enough!! I go back and fix him another. Sure as shit he was back to tell me it was done to much!!@#$%& This guy could of cared less about his burger. I was up in my wheelhouse watching and listening to him tell his buddies I had no place being on deck and I should be in the GALLEY! Well, let's just say his 3ed burger was a very special one
And he actually enjoyed it and had the nerve to tell me it was delish!!" The look on his face when I was shaking customers hands and thanking them for fishing on my boat at the end of the trip, Fucking Pricless Day!!

Submitted by Mate

Alex SherComment
No Time Time To Stop

Telling my kids McDonald's was closed as we drove past it because truly I wasn't stopping on my way to my mum's house to drop them off while I pretended to be sick to get some time off.

Submitted by Nikki

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The Romance Hasn't Died

I’m not sure if you’ll remember me but a couple years ago I sent in a confession.. wasn’t much of a confession but more of a love story? About my partner and I because we use to work at the same place and we used to fool around at work?

Well since then I showed him your fb page and he watched the video where you read my story and now he follows you too.
We’re Still engaged but now we have two babies and are already working on our third.
I’m now a stay at home mum so the work thing ended. However we do still sneak around if we’re at his mums and there’s a few people there we do sneak off upstairs to one of the spare rooms so the ‘romance’ hasn’t died
But honestly you are truly an amazing person!!
Just incase you haven’t been told today.... we love you

Submitted by Claire

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Getting My Frustration Out

When my partner annoys me, I put his toilet brush down the tooth brush, dry it off and put it back. Saves a hell of a lot of arguments getting my frustration out that way

Submitted by Toilet tooth brush

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