A lonely struggle

I'm a single parent of a son who has autism. He is now 14 years old. I have spent 12 years devoted to solely him because he lost his ability to talk and I try to be the best advocate I can. Countless hours of taking him to speech, occupational, and physical therapy. Traveling two hours from our home town to see specialist several times a year. My life has always been about him. Two years ago something inside of me just grew tired of having to fight for the very little our small town can even offer him. I have had to fight for everything he has and at 43 I'm fucking exhausted. Exhausted from lack of sleep, IEP meetings, doctor appointments, and therapies. I haven't dated in 14 years. Mainly because autism especially a child on the severe spectrum is not easy, so how on earth could someone want to be apart of our world when there were times I didn't think I could continue to do it myself. I feel lost, lonely, and not sure how to get my momentum back. I feel like I'm in a bubble, people walking around me not knowing how much I struggle to get out

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