Going to give a bit of a backstory here - my boyfriend sometimes suffers with.. how can I put this.. quick fire syndrome. Anyway, the other night I was feeling quite ‘promiscuous’ and it ended very abruptly. He went to shower after, so because I wasn’t satisfied I got out my vibrator and sorted myself out whilst he was gone! Girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! 😂😂 (however he did come in after and asked about a buzzing, I managed to convince him it was the tv ahaha)

Submitted by Quick buzz

There are times I want to run away like just leave. Let hubby tackle everything. Cuz I hate my kids so much. Bed time is a marathon sprint. Mornings are no better. I live for Monday's when they go back to school. I hate long weekends cuz it means my kids will home an extra day. My son screams and get super pissy when his game on my phone doesn't work. My 7 year old has gotten a new tooth and has taken to biting people. Don't get me wrong when my kids are cuddly and quiet and not fighting I love them dearly but when they don't I totally hate there guys.

Submitted by Very tired

I'm a single parent of a son who has autism. He is now 14 years old. I have spent 12 years devoted to solely him because he lost his ability to talk and I try to be the best advocate I can. Countless hours of taking him to speech, occupational, and physical therapy. Traveling two hours from our home town to see specialist several times a year. My life has always been about him. Two years ago something inside of me just grew tired of having to fight for the very little our small town can even offer him. I have had to fight for everything he has and at 43 I'm fucking exhausted. Exhausted from lack of sleep, IEP meetings, doctor appointments, and therapies. I haven't dated in 14 years. Mainly because autism especially a child on the severe spectrum is not easy, so how on earth could someone want to be apart of our world when there were times I didn't think I could continue to do it myself. I feel lost, lonely, and not sure how to get my momentum back. I feel like I'm in a bubble, people walking around me not knowing how much I struggle to get out

Anonymous submission

I feel like Im keeping a huge secret from my sister.

So my sister and I had our babies a month a part. And lately Ive been noticing some signs of Autism in her daughter, Im a mom of 3 and have been noticing these signs more and more. Ive discussed it with the family (our mom aka granny) and she thinks Im being stupid and Im seeing things. The Signs ive notices are Head Banging/knocking, opening and closed the hands often, screaming, not asking for things, not pointing, hardly talking or saying words, hitting when you try show affection.

My sister is a VERY sensitive person and gets upset VERY quickly and VERY easily. I want to talk to her about this but I dont know how she will react. I feel like Im keeping this huge secret from her and I feel awful.

Anonymous submission

I want to quit my job, leave my boyfriend and pursue my dreams, but in the end i am always to afraid to do it. So I just continue to daydream about it.

Anonymous submission

Another gross confession after pooping on my toddlers nappy to collect a sample...(sure Mike will remember this one). I signed up for a park run with toddler and family. Before the start I needed desperately to pee. (Yes, another gross one) the toilet in the park was 20p and I have nothing. No one is there except for another lady with no money also waiting for a salvation or someone to give her 20p... I noticed that the baby changing cubicle is a separate thing AND it’s open AND had a sink. Well... I had no choice, grabbed the child, blasted baby shark on my phone and peed on the sink. Left like nothing happened and feeling like a winner until she goes on repeating to my in-laws “mommy pee sink” “pee sink!” Thanks baby girl this is not how we do it...

Anonymous submission

I lied about having to work so i didn't have to go on a school trip with my sons class.

Submitted by Gemma

So back when I was in college near San Francisco in the ‘90 a group of girlfriends and I went to a women’s focused sex shop (high end, clean, classy toys) and stocked up on toys for our pleasure. I graduated and was not going anywhere with our my battery operated boyfriend (Bob) so I pack it up very carefully in a box and promptly forgot about. My parents and I get back to my hometown and I have to decide which boxes go into storage until I find a job and which go back to my childhood home. We find an unlabelled box, my father reaches a hand in and pulls out my vibrator. My father being the good catholic father of what he assumes is a virginal 22 year old, freaks out. I claim the vibrator was a gag gift from some college friends. Dad tosses the vibrator in the trash. After he turns away, I grab it and stash it in my purse. I glance over at my mom and she is not saying a word but watching the whole thing with a knowing look.

Submitted by Alison

My toddler’s nan asked if I’d like her to babysit while I ran some errands, yes great! I had full intentions and wonderful expectations of doing the food shop, going to the post office, hoovering the house, prepping the dinner... I sat in McDonald’s car park, ate 2 happy meals and had the best laugh I’d had in months listening to your podcasts, although I did get a few strange looks eating my cheeseburger laughing in hysterics

Submitted by Gemma H

So embarrassing. Oke here it is. So this one day in feb 2009. We went to a steakhouse for we thought was my sisters birthday. But no they announced their engagement. We had a lovely time. Stuffed our faces and we’re about to leave. So I was driving home with my parents (lived at home at that moment) and I told them I had to go and use the bathroom first. Did that and we started driving home. All of a sudden. I think we were at 1/3 home. My stomach felt a bit upset. So I asked my father to stop at a gas station so I could do a number 2. Nothing open (22.50) so I started crying and asked him to run a red light so I could go at macdonalds. We arrived close to 23.00 and they turned the locks on the door. They saw me running. I explained that I really really really had to use the bathroom with tears in my eyes. And that girl laughed and said no. So I went back to the car. My dad said hop on. I’ve got an idea. He went to the back of the restaurant. And said to me. Dump your shit behind this Container. Guess what. Hmhmmm I took the most enormous shit. At the backfiring of macdonalds. Wiped my ass with dads handkerchief and laughed. The first one out would step in my shit. 😂. Never ever felt guilty. I do feel a bit ashamed. But he. It’s 10 years ago. Still proud of the pile 💩

Submitted by peetiej

OK Tova I'm ready to fess up! Sometimes when i go toilet, if i think it's going to be a really big poo, i weigh myself before & after, just for fun experiments!!! Lol! Am i the only one who does this??? It's so juvenile, but i just find it funny 🤣🤣🤣 love you btw xx Averil in New Zealand

Submitted by Averil

So I am a Vermont girl who lives with her husband and 6 children three years ago my husband moved us all (at the time just us and 4 kids) well after several months of living there I met this guy had a brief affair and fell pregnant.....which is crazy because my husband had a vasectomy after our fourth child anyway I hid the pregnancy for months he saw a message on my phone and was furious by then the affair was over as I ended it it slowly forgave me we lived back to Vermont where I had my first ultrasound showing I was having twins crazy right let me add this was my very first time being unfaithful it's not who I am my husband and I have a rocky past where he was a drunk and unfaithful ALOT now we are in an amazing place though couldn't be happier so back to the twins I should add both my husband and I are white and the other guy is African American so time to have the babies both boys well I now have a Brown 17 month old boy and and very white 17 month old boy the odds are slim but I may have gotten pregnant by both my husband and the man I had the affair with.

Submitted by Victoria

So I got engaged in the Dominican Republic. I “accidentally” found my engagement ring in my husbands suitcase when I was looking for my books and he was taking his usual 30 minute dump. I had a quick look and put it back. Three days later he still hasn’t asked me so I was on the beach and said I needed to go back up to the room to get another book (I did) and I tried it on and put it back. He still has no idea. We also smoked a cigar when he finally asked me and I didn’t inhale but man did it on agree with me. So right after he asked me to marry him I walked into a patio window and threw up 6 times.

Submitted by jadper_and_Jeanette

When my little girl was a new born, I was sat on sofa cuddling her in whilst being on the laptop. I needed a drink so placed my baby on sofa and laptop on floor cane back from the kitchen and realised I'd put baby on floor and laptop on sofa hahaha!😂

Submitted by Alice

Before I met my husband, my cousin tried to fix me with guy. 5 minutes into our date I realized I'm wasting my time and just wanted to get this over with. Fast forward to 5 years later. A friend of my husband is throwing a party to all of his and his wife's friends....as we walk in I spot this failing date guy, and feeling so embarrassed as my husband's friend introduces us to him and his wife.....

I basically changed colors there and just wanted to disappear, not saying a word to my husband of course......but as we drove back home, while processing the whole situation, I started laughing at the whole thing....my husband was asking me what was so funny.....so I told him the truth saying -'babe don't feel bad about this but remember X from the party? I dated him once....'

then he started laughing so loudly without me knowing what's going on....so I said -'what the hell is so funny? And then he said -'.don't take this the wrong way but I dated his wife once...'

Submitted by mirihil

I let my son hide in the shelves in Aldi/ any supermarket & tell him I’m leaving him!

Submitted by Kerryann

I decided to meet up with this guy who had been constantly messaging me, and he wanted to take me out for "taco Tuesday" at this restaurant by our house. He spent the ENTIRE date basically telling me how vaginas were actually pretty gross.. mind you he was eating a taco while he was telling me this.

It was when I was 15 and my first time, and we did it in my parents bed. Anyway, didn't think about her being a virgin too and long story short, when we finished I realised the sheets were all covered in blood... my mom's favourite sheets. I panicked and didn't know what to do, so I shoved them in a garbage bag and throw them all away. My mom came home and asked what happened to her sheets. Again, I panicked and just came out with 'I was eating sardine and I tried and they fell over the bed so I got rid of the sheets'. I have no idea how but she believed me.

Anonymous submission

Quite possibly the worst date i went on was when a guy took me to a theme park. I i hated the thought of even going on rides or waiting in the heat (we were in Spain).  He then wanted to take me to lunch, but I started feeling sick so i decided to go to the loo and what happens?? my knickers snap .. lets just say it was a breezy lunch.

Anonymous submission

Is it normal to want to run away? I am sure you've spoken about this before but bis do I sometimes wish I won the lottery and I could fuck off somewhere warm where I could drink mojitos all day long. Exhausted mom of three.

Anonymous submission

One time as I was out with my boss, I drank way too much and as we were walking to the the train station, I vomited all over the payment. she then trued to jeep to get up because I had failed over Ito my vomit, but I started shouting at her in the middle of the street. Best night ever. Oh, I am a man.

Anonymous submission